Catholic School Kids

Responses to my blog about the rules at my convent school came, not in the form of comments posted here, but in emails from friends to whom I sent a link—dear people who were at college with me or who were in similar schools at the same time. I say of my contemporary graduates of other Catholic schools, that we went to different schools together. Robert Knightly, who also blogs here, is one of my school-mates of the soul, so to speak.


The responses to last week’s blog taught me that, contrary to my assumption, the rules were just as restrictive at the men’s colleges. Here are my friends’ experiences, in their own words:


From Tom, who went to Fordham:

These aren't laughable; they are simply the social and behavioral norms of that era. God, we sure had class then. And when I say "We" I really mean "we." The Catholic men's school I went to had rules at the time that were much like these in many respects --- except we didn't have to wear a hat and gloves to board the train (LOL)!

We did have to wear a coat and tie on campus on all class days. If you showed up at class without a coat and tie you were recorded absent! Seniors wore a "short" (about thigh length) academic robe to class, believe it or not.

BTW, we did NOT have the privilege of unlimited lights. We had a definite lights-out time!

I notice your dress rules do NOT say anything about hemline length. Very interesting omission.

One interesting thing we had rules on was alcohol. Since we were located in a state with age 18 drinking at the time, some controls were necessary. Yes, you were allowed to have alcohol on campus and expected to handle it responsibly.


From Kate, who went to St. E’s with me:

It was like being in prison or an orphanage in Victorian England.

I don't remember having worn a hat when leaving the campus. I too got a weekend in prison there. I was chatting with Rosemary Rush and didn't realize that the lights had gone out. When I left her room, the halls were in darkness and I ran into that (expletive deleted) Sister ________. That did it.



From Abigail, another classmate:

I think I had 21 meals twice. Can't remember the first infraction but the second was watching TV alone 2nd semester senior year. Making absolutely no attempt to hide, I was caught, and punishment was meted out. At age 21 I was infuriated and told Sr.______ so and said I was leaving the school. After much drama including a visit from my very reluctant mother!!!! the punishment was lifted and I stayed to finish. This was probably April of 1963. Can you imagine!

What’s interesting here, referring to Tom’s comment about alcohol, is that in New Jersey, we could drink at age 21. Our rule book reminded us of the law but did not further restrict drinking. So, presumably, at 21 Abigail was old enough to order a Singapore sling at Rod’s Ranch House but not to watch television after 8PM!

From Mike, who went to St. Bonaventure:

Having somewhat similar experiences at St. Bonaventure, I could readily identify with your situation. We too had a handbook of "Rules" (the ONLY thing on the desks in our rooms when we checked in). They also spelled out the "demerits" for each violation as well as other disciplinary actions that would apply at the various thresholds (e.g., simple disciplinary probation, strict disciplinary probation, appearance before the disciplinary board, potential expulsion, immediate expulsion, etc.). When I first read it I was almost afraid to leave my room lest I unwittingly violate some unspecified tenet covered by the "summary clause" (i.e., "or any other action considered detrimental to the orderly functioning of this institution").

Assigned study hours, chow hall discipline, lights out, signing in and out for the library, etc., like St. E's, were all there. At Bona's, being then an all male campus, they were not as big on dress codes, they were very BIG on 6th and 9th commandment violations!! I ended up being put on simple disciplinary probation for having a picture of the Purdue University "Golden Girl", from Sports Illustrated magazine no less (head band majorette with a gold lame one piece bathing suit), posted on the outside of my closet door (I should have been smarter and put it on the inside!). The prefect on the floor (every floor had a live-in Franciscan monk) came in for late bed check and saw it and woke me up and told me to take it down because it was "scurrilous literature.” When I said, "It's what"? He replied, "Look it up." When I did so I saw it meant, "Given to the use of vulgar or low abusive language". There was no language, only the picture. But since they say a picture is worth a 1000 words, I knew I wasn't going to get too far arguing the point.

In any event, I had to meet with the Dean of Discipline (which is another whole story) and was campused for a month. What I didn't know was that a letter had been sent to my parents informing them I'd been placed on simple disciplinary probation (this little tidbit was NOT mentioned in the "Rules"!). The letter opened with the sentence, "This is to inform you that your son has been placed on simple disciplinary probation and that, without corrective action, his tenure at this institution is in jeopardy". I found out about the letter when my father called ME, the first and only time he did so. My frail attempt to point out that it was "simple" disciplinary probation only served, as you might guess, to raise his level of ire. I felt fortunate to be 400 miles away rather than within arm’s reach!

So as Bob Hope says, "Thanks for the memories"!

From Ann Marie, a classmate at St. John’s High School:

What an evolution!

Jimmy Breslin

In 1976-77, a serial killer who called himself Son of Sam terrorized New York City. (This is the “Crime” part of this post!) The murderer took to writing to the journalist Jimmy Breslin. Based on the style of those letters, Breslin, himself a Catholic School Old Boy, theorized that Son of Sam also went to Catholic school. “He understands the use of the semi-colon,” was, according to Breslin, evidence that he had been carefully taught grammar, not a subject similarly drilled into students in New York City public schools. Breslin turned out to be wrong about the Son of Sam’s early training. But he was right about the care with which the nuns and brothers taught us to express our thoughts in writing. As evidence of that, I give you the stories above, written casually in emails to an old friend, but lively, cogent, clear, and concise and spelled correctly. Silly rules about hats, high heels, and baton twirlers in gold lame to the contrary notwithstanding, our teachers gave us skills that have stayed with us and helped us in our careers. In my case, they became the tools of my trade.

—Annamaria Alfieri

Yesteryear

I write historical mysteries. It tickles me to delve into the exotic past, especially if it gives the reader a glimpse of quaint and outmoded customs of distant times and remote places. So today I take you to the College of Saint Elizabeth in Convent, New Jersey in 1959. That this is my own past makes it no less strange and unbelievable in my eyes. Here are excerpts from actual instructions distributed to my Freshman class. Bracketed comments in italics are mine:


TO THE FRESHMEN:

During this week you will be hearing a variety of instructions from a variety of sources. It has been suggested* that a listing of the more important regulations might prove beneficial. You are requested to read over the following items and ask for an explanation of any points which may not be clear. Keep this copy convenient for future reference.

{*The author of these rules, identity unknown, was certainly NOT associated with the English Department, where my mentor, Sister Mary Catharine O’Connor (who possessed two PhD's from Columbia University) ruled with an iron mind. She would never have tolerated the use of the passive voice throughout the document.}


I. GENERAL REGULATIONS FOR ALL STUDENTS

Students may patronize all those luncheonettes, tea rooms, coffee shops, and drugstores which maintain proper standards. They may, however, patronize only those restaurants which are on the approved list. Violation of this rule is subject to judicial action by the Student Executive Board.

DRESS

You are to preserve a neat appearance at all times and to observe the following specific instructions:

1. Either stockings or socks must be worn at all times.

2. Sneakers and sweatshirts are part of the gym uniform and are to be worn ONLY for gym activities. THEY ARE TO BE WORN AT NO OTHER TIME.

3. Slacks, dungarees, and shorts are forbidden as campus attire.

COURTESY

Students are expected to be courteous and respectful at all times. They will show this respect by rising immediately when a faculty member or other older person enters the room. It is taken for granted that students will greet members of the faculty when they meet. Exceptional courtesy is to be shown to visiting lecturers and to anyone who may at any time address you.

SOCIAL

1. When a student arrives at a dance, she presents herself and her escort to the chaperones; when leaving she bids them good night.

2. Students do not leave the building in which the dance is held while the dance is in progress. This applies to escorts as well.

3. Students remain at the dance until it is over. All return promptly and directly to the residence hall at the same time.

SAINT JOSEPH HALL

1. The snack bar is not a place for study or wasting valuable time. For this reason no books are to be taken there, and you are to leave promptly after being served.

2. Playing cards is forbidden during class hours.

REGULATIONS FOR RESIDENT STUDENTS

1. Students have the privilege of unlimited lights. Freshman, however, may visit other students between check-in and ten o'clock only with the permission of the proctor and between ten and eleven only with the permission of the sister on the floor. THERE IS ABSOLUTELY NO VISITING AFTER ELEVEN O'CLOCK ON ANY NIGHT PRECEDING A CLASS DAY.

The penalty for a violation of the above regulation is a one-week campus including signing in for twenty-one meals, and supervised study from 8:00 until 10:30 each night during the week in a place designated by the sister in charge of the residence hall.**

{**I myself was given "twenty-one meals" for getting caught visiting my friend Fran Maraziti and her roommates after lights out. It was worth it. She is still my dear friend, and I delight in her company whenever we are together. It was she who preserved the handout I excerpt here and sent it to me a few months ago.}

2. On Sundays and holydays students are to wear afternoon dresses or suits, stockings, and dress shoes. Sweaters and skirts, class jackets, socks, and "loafers” are not to be worn. This regulation is also to be followed on certain designated nights for supper.

3. When leaving campus by the train for the weekend, stockings, dress shoes, gloves and a hat are to be worn.***

{***It never occurred to me then, but now I look at this rule and picture droves of young women boarding the 5:26 to Hoboken wearing the required items, and nothing else.}

--Annamaria Alfieri