Friday, December 27, 2013

Five Ways to Get Over a Really Bad Cold

I'm just about over a really bad cold, and as a public service I want to pass on to you the nuggets of wisdom I gained last week and the week before while coughing myself all to pieces.

1) See the doctor.

The doctor will check all those vital signs that are supposed to be ticking along in good order. The doctor will listen to your chest. The doctor will tell you if you have bronchitis, or asthma, or both, and prescribe drugs that will ultimately cause you to feel better. Maybe you have pneumonia. You would want to know that before you kill yourself running around. Do what the doctor tells you.

2) Stay home.

There is nothing noble in bravely soldiering on with a contagious disease. Dragging your germ-ridden body to work, infecting your friends, coughing and sneezing on your co-workers, is a bad idea. You're sick, for cat's sake. The world will get along just fine without you for a little while.

3) Take naps.

This is not to say, go to bed and stay there. You don't want to do that. It will give you pneumonia. (My sister told me so.) But take naps, get as much rest as you can, and when you do go to bed at night, prop up your head and shoulders on a foam wedge or a pile of pillows. It helps a lot with coughing. You might even get a full night's sleep.

4) Drink a lot of ice water.

I know, I know, you'd rather have whiskey. Or fruit juice. But, listen, you can't taste it anyway, so why not drink the very healthiest thing? It will loosen up your cough. It will wash away impurities (whatever they are). Fruit juice has a lot of sugar, which encourages germs to grow. Whiskey is better consumed when you can appreciate it.

5) Watch Fred Astaire movies.

You're scratching your head. What, you ask, will Fred Astaire do for my cold? Well, I'll tell you. When you're planted on the couch in front of the television, your lungs full of glue, your ass made out of cement, your feet nothing but dead distant lumps, Fred will model what it is to get up and move with energy and grace. Look at what he does with his hands. Couldn't you do that, if you tried really hard? Already you're sitting up straighter. Can your feet be far behind?

© 2013 Kate Gallison


  1. Wow! I might have to keep this post up all day just for that glimpse of Fred Astaire.
    Oh,and may I add to your list? IF you feel like reading, try movie star biographies but one that's not too sad. Once I had a wretched cold and someone lent me Bob Thomas' bio of William Holden. Now I knew exactly how William Holden died. It was no suprise but when I got to his death (drunk, all alone, fell and hit his head) I was inconsolable. I could not stop crying. I probably should have gone with the Esther Williams biography. Live and learn.

  2. No! No! Not Esther Williams. After she married Fernando Lamas he was such a horrible bully that he wouldn't let her see her own children for years. Tragic! I could weep! I would weep, but luckily I'm just about all better now and not so sensitive.

  3. Watching Fred dance is a cure for me too, Kate. I own a couple and watch for twenty minutes whenever I need a cheering up! Glad you are feeling better. I HATE WINTER!

  4. Oh, Annamaria, I also loathe winter--words cannot adequately convey-- and Fred Astaire is a great cure. I also find Kenneth Branagh's version of the St Crispin Day speech from Henry V is usually good for what ails me.
    Sorry, Kate. I had forgotten about the loathsome Lamas.

  5. Hope you feel better to celebrate New Year's Eve. As they used to say, take a few days in the south of France, or maybe Jamaica. tjs