Out of the Mouth of the Gray Lady. . .

I opened the Times for my daily fix and was perplexed by the items on A2. First, the box by Chanel. Not the usual picture of a ladies' purse for $4,500, a tad more than I pay at K-Mart, a price that could get me to and fro to Shanghai, including tips and drinks. But what looked like one of those rings they throw at you when you're falling off the yacht. "Cruise 2011/12 Collection Preview." Was this another name for a handbag? It was above my paygrade to translate.

Then "Inside the Times." It seems that Russian President Mister Dmitri A. Medvedev had fired Russia's longtime finance minister, Mister Aleksei L. Kudris, who'd had the nerve to question said D.A.M's skill in economic affairs. Told the top guy he'd rather quit than work for him. I happened to know already that A.L.K. KNEW D.A.M. was slotted to swap with Mister V.V. Putin at the next election. Was Mister K. just itching to get a transfer to Outer Siberia? Or worse? Like that little dungeon we happen to know about? (Wink. Wink!)

If that wasn't enough to give me a headache, the Turkish P.M., Mister Recep Tayyip Erdogan, had the GALL to try to enter the wrong way at the U.N. and was PUSHED by a guard!!!

This started the kerfuffle shuffle and a fracas that could be heard FOUR floors below!!! So awful it sent the lord high commish, Mister Ban Ki-Moon, scurrying (their word, not mine) (I thought only mice scurried) over to the Turkish Mission to make nice with an apology. Well, thank goodness someone has manners in that place!

As if that wasn't enough to curdle my coffee, some kids at Berkeley/CAL had a bake sale where they made students pay different prices for their pastries, according to their sex and race. You can't make up this stuff. It was called "Increase Diversity Bake Sale."

Price List:
- Whites- $2
- Asians - $1.50
- Latinos - $1
- African-Americans - 75 cents
- Native Americans - 25 cents
- All Women - a 25 cent discount
( Enough to start WW3 ! )

I turned to A 16 and learned about Rat Island, a small vacant parcel of land off City Island in Long Island Sound, a property on the market if I wanted to leave Carnegie Hill. Rat Island has no electricity or sewer lines. It is under water at high tide. ( Oh, wow!) But it has birds...

I could buy it for a mere $426,000. No traffic, no garbage trucks at 5 A.M. No yelling neighbors, no ringing phones at 3 A.M.

Rat Island was originally part of Thomas Pell's land bought from the Siwannoy Indians - like in Westchester Country Club, School, or Bronx Trail. It got its name from prisoners on nearby Hart Island, who escaped by swimming with cardboard boxes over their heads to look like bobbng trash. The place has served as a fisherman's landing, campground, kayak launching site and a viewing place for fireworks. Any takers???

The owner pitches the sale as a conversation piece at cocktail parties at the Yale Club , the Colony Club or even the New York Athletic Club – "I own an island!" (Hey, that works for moi!)

By the way, what's with these New Yorky islands up for grabs??? The Gray Lady also reported that the Feds hope to sell Plum Island, off the end of Long Island, that verrry weird, dangerous federal Animal Disease Center, where our own MWA Nelson DeMille revealed the real deal in his enthralling novel PLUM ISLAND with hero John Corey. "Sandy shoreline, beautiful views and a harbor!" says the NYT.

R-E-A-L-L-Y???

John Corey, help!!!

All the News That's Fit to Print??? I ponder on that . . .

Thelma J. Straw

P.S. Update on the sale of Rat Island: Buyer Alex Schibli bought the island recently at auction for a mere $160,000, which sounds like a real bargain. So, there goes the dream. Of course, there's always Plum Island - but I question if we could ever get rid of all those germs and worse. Now that place gives me the creeps...