Wednesday, August 29, 2012

No Head for Headlines

I am on deadline to get the manuscript for my next book back to my editor; I have to be quick this week. So here I reproduce for you headlines I have collected in a file over the years. They will give you something to laugh about as summer draws to a close:

“British Left Waffles on Falklands”

“Alaska Salmon Recall Expanding”

“Idaho Group Organizes to Service Widows”

“Fuel for City Buses Passes through Two Middlemen”

“Here’s How to Lick Doberman’s Leg Sores”

“UConn to Study Taste and Smell Disorders”

“President Wins on Budget, but More Lies Ahead”

And the best one for Murder mystery writers:

“Stiff Opposition Expected to Casketless Funeral Plan”

Annamaria Alfieri


  1. All the best of continued success with the new book! BTW, I heartily recommend the post by Sandy Parshall today on Poe's Daughters - great encouragement to any of us who have manuscripts and agents and editors who want only the millions of readers! Thelma

  2. These are great. My favorite headline was written by Ken Fake, deskman for the Trenton Times back in the day. When Ogden Nash, the great artist of doggerel, lay on his deathbed, Ken composed the following headline for the story:
    Upon reflection, Ken decided it was too tasteless to print. A pity. We thought Mr. Nash would have liked it.