Wednesday, November 13, 2013

Headline Bloopers

A number of years ago, my students in a technical writing class gave me a gift: one of those little books that you used to be able find at the cash registers of bookstores, when there were bookstores.  Squad Helps Dog Bite Victim was published by the Columbia Journalism Review and documented hilarious headlines, mostly from local newspapers, back in the day when there were local newspapers.   I share of few of them today.  Many are about crimes or crime fighters; some only sound that way.  All are documented, real headlines that ran in actual newspapers:

Beating Witness Provides Names

Youngstown Police On Duty Getting Smaller

Lawmen from Mexico Barbecue Guests

Man Robs, Then Kills Himself

SCSC Graduates Blind Senior Citizen

Robber Holds Up Albert’s Hosiery

Juvenile Court to Try Shooting Defendant

Police Can’t Stop Gambling

Drunk Gets Nine Months in Violin Case

Police Kill Man With Ax

Police Union to Seek Blinding Arbitration

Not about crime but too funny to pass up:

Stiff Opposition Expected to Casketless Funeral Plan

Bishop Defrocks Gay Priest

Chester Morrill, 92, Was Fed Secretary

Annamaria Alfieri


  1. Those tasty secretaries will extend your life, for sure.

  2. I am happy to offer you laughs. I giggled a lot while typing them out.

  3. These are great. Here's three of my faves:

    "Statistics Show that Teen Pregnancy Drops Significantly After Age 25."
    "One-armed Man Applauds Kindness of Strangers"
    "Federal Agents Raid Gun Shop, Find Weapons"

  4. Great additions, Ken. That's additions, not editions.

  5. Hi, guys, what in the world would we do without humor!!!!! He who laughs best lasts longer! tjs

  6. I just love these, being by trade an editor. A recent headline in the research group where I work: Mutual Funds Take the Loin's Share of Supply