A number of years ago,
my students in a technical writing class gave me a gift: one of those little
books that you used to be able find at the cash registers of bookstores, when
there were bookstores. Squad Helps Dog Bite Victim was published
by the Columbia Journalism Review and documented hilarious headlines, mostly
from local newspapers, back in the day when there were local newspapers. I share of few of them today. Many are about crimes or crime fighters; some
only sound that way. All are documented,
real headlines that ran in actual newspapers:
Beating Witness Provides Names
Youngstown Police On Duty Getting Smaller
Lawmen from Mexico Barbecue Guests
Man Robs, Then Kills Himself
SCSC Graduates Blind Senior Citizen
Robber Holds Up Albert’s Hosiery
Juvenile Court to Try Shooting Defendant
Police Can’t Stop Gambling
Drunk Gets Nine Months in Violin Case
Police Kill Man With Ax
Police Union to Seek Blinding Arbitration
Not about crime but
too funny to pass up:
Stiff Opposition Expected to Casketless Funeral Plan
Bishop Defrocks Gay Priest
Chester Morrill, 92, Was Fed Secretary
Annamaria Alfieri
