Seven Weird Tricks to Jump-Start Your Year

1. Get your hair cut so short that you look like a monkey. Enjoy the reactions of your friends.

2. Start a brand new email account under an assumed name. Forget the password.

3. Research your forbears on Ancestry.com. Discover a relative of your father's who married her half-brother and gave birth to several children listed by the Canadian census taker as being of unsound mind.

4. Buy a new pair of pajamas. Bed Head is a good brand. Wear them to watch television.

5. Rip the "do not remove" tag off your mattress or pillow. Use it to pledge yourself to the Wrong Thing Society.

6. Check out this from the British Library: http://www.flickr.com/photos/britishlibrary/with/11307113706/
One million images, all in the public domain. Use one of them to design a book cover. Or use several.

7. Go outside and run around in the snow like a maniac. Maybe we won't get any more.

© 2014 Kate Gallison

Resolutions Cannot be Rushed

Another New Year. More resolutions. More back-sliding. More recriminations.

This year I resolved to:

1. Write more.
2. Eat less.
3. Exercise more.
4. Complain less.

So far I have written nothing, eaten everything in sight, haven’t lifted a finger I didn’t have to, and complained all day. So much for resolutions. But, wait! It’s only January 3rd. There’s still time…

Later today—I worked on my stand-alone novel. It seemed to go well. I won’t know,
of course, until I reread it tomorrow. But I felt happy while writing and that’s usually a good sign.

I ate practically nothing. I was too engrossed in my novel. An apple. Some yogurt. A banana.

At mid-day I hit a snag and went for a long walk to work it out. I walked faster than usual because it was cold and that was the only way to keep warm. It felt good to walk fast and think clearly, for a change. By the time I got home I had worked out the snag.

As for complaining? What’s that? All’s right with the world!

—Robin Hathaway